I first posted this blog in March of 2012. A full year ago. I decided to repost because not a day goes by that I don’t get a chuckle from someone who reaches out and says I’d LOVE to do a session, but……and launches into one or more of the below reasons why they shouldn’t do it now. I’m glad to say that in the past year some of these women have stepped forward, whether it was 3 months, 6 months or more down the line. I’m happy they were able to achieve their goals. OR that they just said, “Ah, heck with it! I’m doing it now.” So, I thought I’d repost this blog, in the hopes that it might inspire someone to let go of her fears, insecurities and reservations. And just go for it!
Reason #1: “I want to lose 10 (20, 30…) pounds first”
If you’re anything like me, you’ve been saying this very thing for months…even years (Yep! That’s my reality.) But the truth is professional photographers know how to use lighting and posing to slim figures, minimize trouble zones, and maximize assets. That’s one of my particular strengths too apparently, because just about every week someone emails or calls to ask if I only shoot size 0 and size 2 girls! What?! My portfolio features many women who are size 12 and up….they’re just shot so that you don’t immediately say “HEY, that’ girl’s a size 16!” That’s the job of a good photographer! And so I take it as a compliment every time someone asks me if I only shoot models. Sure, I could post before and after pics, but honestly, what’s the point of that? I’d rather just celebrate the beauty I already see whenever I meet someone new for the first time – that’s the beauty I want to capture and show to the world.
Reason #2: “I want to tone up / build those six pack abs first”
Ah. Six pack abs….I used to have those once upon a time. Before I hit my 30s, 40s….had three kids, settled into suburban life, feel in love with wine and steaks and lots of rich foods that aren’t so kind to my waistline (ICE CREAM!!!!). Yeah. My six pack abs are still there, they’re just neatly hidden beneath a healthy layer of estrogen producing fat. Lots of pluses to estrogen, ya know?! But I digress. My point here is that if you’ve never had six pack abs, why make that the ultimatum right now? And if you did have them, well, take a look at most Victoria’s Secret models. You’ll hardly see a six pack ab in the bunch. In fact, lots of women considered beautiful and sexy tend to be curvy and soft (Hello! Marilyn Monroe?). So, an athletic build is not a requirement for being sexy. AND, again, there are poses that will play up your best features (eyes, hair, back, shoulders, legs, bottom, feet, etc.). So why not focus on those?
Reason #3: “I want to find a boyfriend/husband to give it to first”
This one’s easy peasy! I have to say the reason women come to me for boudoir is pretty much split 50/50…at first! 50% say they want to do it for hubby, beau, whomever. The other half admits – this is a gift to themselves. But know what? 99.9% will say, once they’ve gone through the experience, that it was the best gift they ever gave themselves! And many will come back to do it again as a self-esteem boost, a confidence builder, or because the first go-round was so empowering, they want to do it again and play a bit more maybe with different looks, etc. In short, every woman will be so happy to look back when she’s a grandma and say “Damn! I was smokin’ hot!” Isn’t that one of the best gifts a woman can give herself?
Reason #4: “I have to find the perfect outfit first”
Some women get so hung up on outfits. When really, it’s only a nice accessory. The focal point of beauty and sensual images as I see it should be one thing and only one thing: YOU. So, wear clothes. Don’t wear clothes. Grab a piece of fabric and do an implied nude. Outfits are secondary. Their main purpose as I see it? To give you the confidence to feel sexy and show that sexy. I’ve shot women wearing great outfits; wearing a piece of jewelry and nothing more; or, wearing absolutely nothing other than what God sent them into this world with….and guess what, they’re all perfect and beautiful as is!
Reason #5: “I’m too old”
To this one I say BAH HUMBUG!!! Get outta town! No such thing!!! Seriously! I LOVE shooting women who are in their 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond. One of the hottest clients I’ve ever shot was a grandma who wouldn’t tell me her age! LOL! It became a running joke. I could never quite guess. But it didn’t matter. What DID matter was that she was a spicy little number who still had it (finger snaps in the margins here for you theater folks). She proved that 60, 70, whatever decade she was in, can be and is beautiful! Not to mention sexy! To date, the most mature person I’ve shot was 82….I’m hoping to beat that number….any takers? : P
Reason #6: “I’m a mom of 2, 3, 4, 5 (or more)…it’s too late for me.”
Blah, blah, blah. Seriously? EVEN MORE should you worship that body? Do you realize what it’s done?? It’s created whole human beings! An amazing miracle! A superhuman feat! So what if your body wears a few battle scars as a result? Honor them! And show the world that being a hot mamma is not only possible but oh-so-often the very case! I’m so glad every time I see a new celebrity mom strut her stuff. Shows the rest of us that yeah, we have the right to be hot too! Claim it!
Reason #7: “I’ll never be a size two and it looks like all the women on your site are that size”
Um. Not telling tales out of school. But, no. They’re not. Not all of em. Reference reason #1 and you’ll see why the images give you that impression. Nuff said here…
Reason #8: “The camera hates me! (I’m not photogenic – look at my FB profile pics!)”
I can SOOOOOO relate to this one. No one ever believes me til they see it firsthand, but, yeah, I suck in front of the camera. SERIOUSLY! I’m so like deer in high beam headlights! Ha ha! Sure, I’m a pro at telling others what to do and how to do it…but put me in front of a point and shoot or zoom lens and oh boy! Another story! But the point here is twofold – first, most point and shoots with their direct harsh neon lights quality flash make most of us look terrible! Really! It’s like looking at yourself in a bathing suit in those horrible dept store florescent lights! In the hands of an amateur who has no clue about focal lengths and their effect on distortion of the human face/figure (e.g. ever see those self-portraits where the nose looks 10x bigger than anything else on the face? uh huh…) it’s a small wonder that we ever see good pics of ourselves in general. In the hands of a “professional” who doesn’t have a knack for angles either or a sense for that same science about focal length and distortion, you get thick thighs and all those dreaded distortions as well – the very things we fear most! So, a lot has to do with angles, knowing what lens to use, how to pose, lighting, the whole kit and kaboodle. BUT, here’s the good news, in the right hands, EVERYONE can look their absolute supermodel best! I did say there was a second point, didn’t I….hmmm….must be old age creeping up on me. Onward then!
Reason #9: “I’m too shy!”
True story! I had a woman come once who was sooooo nervous that she was physically shaking! And yet, within 10, ok maybe 20 minutes she was cracking up, loving the images she saw, and hamming it up. Another true story: this particular scenario plays itself out pretty much 95% of the time! I kid you not. Most people who come to me are nervous. I think it’s only natural. Unless you model for a living, darn right it’s hard to model in your skivvies in front of an absolute stranger for a few hours! Good thing though, I’m a total clown. So if you have a sense of humor, it’s kinda hard to hold onto that nervous energy when I’m making a total fool of myself! True story!
Reason #10: “I can’t afford it!”
Alright, out of all the reasons thus far, this one is the one I’m most likely to understand. But then again, I hear this from women who sport Christian Louboutin’s, drive BMWs or Mercedes cars, etc, etc. Those material things come and go. Will you still be so keen on wearing those thousand + dollar shoes when they’ve become “Last year’s” model? On the other hand, a professional photography boudoir or glamour shoot that’s a snapshot in time, that captures your beauty today as it exists NOW, that will be beautifully designed and bound in an album or mounted on an art print, that you’ll look back on in a few years and be so proud you did, that you’ll look back on decades later and beam about, isn’t that SOOOOOO worth the investment? Isn’t that worth saving up for (Yes, I do offer payment plans and it works really great!)? Most women go through the boudoir experience and beam about it – saying it was the biggest esteem boost they’ve ever had! Isn’t that worth something? Bottom line is, if you value yourself, your happiness, and want to celebrate YOU, this is a worthwhile investment. And that’s just speaking in terms of YOU. Once we put honey or your S.O. into the mix, it’s becomes a completely generous giving of oneself that is just so wonderful! I’ve gotten letters from boyfriends, fiances, husbands that have touched me so much – these men GET it! They get that it must have been a difficult step for their girlfriends, fiances and wives to take. And they really, really appreciate it. As a bonding step, isn’t that worth something as well?
Ok, if you can come up with any other excuses, I mean reasons, send me a note at firstname.lastname@example.org – I’d love to hear em! ; )
Have a wonderful weekend – SPRING IS ALMOST HERE!!!! YAY!